On resonance and rejection
Why do my emotions spark resonance in some and rejection in others?
Here is a visual understanding of the way resonance works. Let us take the example of joy.
Joy is a beautiful emotion. It feels natural, spontaneous, energising, and uplifting.
Why is it that my joy finds rhythm with my favourite people, yet falls out of pace with others — or is even outright rejected? Why is it that my joy cannot be accessed in the presence of some, as if it is deeply buried and cannot be brought to the surface by will alone?
All states of being hold a frequency. These frequencies are communicated on the energetic plane — we feel other people's states of being even when the mind does not consciously register it.
If a certain emotion is integrated, there is a clean pathway between it and the outside world. It is expressed without faltering, and arrives at the appropriate moment.
Conversely, if an emotion is suppressed or rejected by protective mechanisms because it is associated with a wound — then there are layers between it and its natural expression. When the appropriate moment for that emotion arrives, the whole string of baggage is triggered, not just the pure emotion itself. The order in which it presents to the world is: defence — wound — original emotion (truth).
When two integrated experiences of joy meet, there is no baggage between their expression, and seamless joy is experienced.
However, when joy meets wounded joy, it is still true that the joy in each person is resonating — but the wound and the protective mechanisms around that emotion are also triggered.
If you have not consciously experienced certain aspects of humanity within yourself, you will not accurately recognise these traits — or their distortions — in others, though your subconscious will still register them. The integrated beauty in another will still be registered by the beauty within you, even without conscious awareness, resulting in potential confusion or discomfort if it is associated with a wound. As you bring certain frequencies into conscious awareness, you become more accurate at identifying them in the outer world without perceptual distortion. That is to say, you become increasingly better at reading reality.
The universe is designed to heal, even through its suffering.
If pain is triggered, it is still done so in the psyche's effort to reintegrate. This is an impersonal mechanism — a natural law.
Our willingness to participate in the universe's natural tendency toward reintegration determines our capacity to heal.
In the ever-unfolding moments of life, both our integrated and our exiled or buried emotions are bound to be triggered by simple resonance. It is not only that the outside world triggers our inner state — our inner state also triggers the events of the outside world. There is no difference between these two directions of resonance; they are one and the same. Everything that exists within you, or in the code underlying the physical world, must be expressed somehow. In fact, there is no delay in expression, because again — it is just one thing.
This is good news, because even our discomfort is pointing us toward truth by revealing our distortion.
Next time you feel discomfort, be willing to drop the defence to the wound. This usually looks like any form of avoidance designed to escape the pain — addiction, anger, projection, looking everywhere but inward, people-pleasing, numbness, overanalysing with the mind and the many other subtle and persistent ways we defer feeling. Once we gain enough leverage to witness how clever we are at distracting ourselves, we can become willing to feel the original wound beneath the defensive mechanism. All distortions are the shadow of a beautiful truth, and so contain gems beyond our unintegrated comprehension — not realised until fully embodied. For example, distorted self-righteousness can be the shadow of true inner knowing; an overactive sensitivity can be the distortion of genuine empathy.
Once a wound is willing to be genuinely experienced and felt through, the truth emerges as a natural result. This is always spontaneous — it cannot be uncovered by the mind alone. It arises as naturally as laughter.
In seamless resonance or uncomfortable conflict, each experience is either an expression of flow or a signpost directing us toward unleashing greater flow in the blocked areas of our life. Be grateful for both.
Love can be experienced toward those with whom we find flow, and equally toward those who reveal the places we have yet to access more of ourselves. Be grateful to both.
