On death, the sun & the whole self
The act of being willing to see and accept the whole self.
Most of what we call fear of the world is really fear of ourselves. Where in your life do you avoid situations — not because of the situation itself, but because of what you might see or feel within yourself? Where you tell yourself it is about the outside world, but really it is about what the outside stirs up in the inner life. Where might you be creating the perfect opportunity to see yourself more clearly, yet denying it — and in doing so, rejecting those parts of yourself more deeply? Where are your blind spots to the parts of yourself you don't want to see?
Wilful blindness.
We assume we will not survive the guilt and shame of seeing and feeling our fractured parts, and so we refuse to look.
The assumption of death.
What if life were about constantly stretching our assumption of death? The voice that says, "I will surely not survive this."Each time we say "this too I have survived," the radius of our being stretches. Not by holding onto the ego, but by connecting to the infinite spark that in fact never dies. There is a truth in the ego screaming for its survival — because yes, in its separateness, it cannot survive the all-encompassing light of eternal oneness.
"I survived" actually fails to touch this phenomenon. It is something closer to: "I became that which was always and will always be there. Now I simply realise it." That is what is termed Self-realisation.
That which experiences annihilation has returned to the source — eliminating not what it is, but the illusion of its separateness. The lonely and deviating part assumes its qualities will cease to be, but in fact they remain perfectly intact — only now in unison with the rest of the self. It has surrendered its own self-will to the will of the whole Self. The gaping void within the psyche — which turns out to be resistance — is eliminated by drawing the scattered part back into the whole.
Could this extend to all experiences of death — micro and macro, physical and psychological?
As Ramana Maharshi was dying of cancer, his distressed devotees pleaded, "Ramana, Ramana, don't leave us." To which he calmly replied, "Where could I possibly go?"
Do we always assume death to be real, when if we are willing to become conscious within the experience- we become exactly that- conscious within it.
Oneness Experiences
A oneness experience can be as enlightening as it is confronting, shocking, and devastating to the system.
Why?
Because all of yourself that believes in its personal illusion of separateness will be revealed by the light of wholeness. It is incredibly confronting to the fractured self. Imagine the light of life refracting off the walls of illusion within the psyche, revealing all that is not in unison with the truth of that source. What if, ultimately, the light could be shone not through distortion, but cleanly through your authentic pattern — impressing this unique expression onto the substance of life.
The experience of making art, or any action done with pure inspiration, can be used as a tool in exactly the same way. It cleanses the system by allowing the light through the vessel, and in doing so, it will illuminate all the parts, voices, and protectors that constrain its ability to flow freely.
In seeing distortion, the task then becomes to recognise this intelligent mechanism of protection — a narrow-sighted conclusion made within a specific context, which now assumes itself a universal law. Conversely, if something is truly true, it does apply across all forms. Life may reveal itself as a process of aligning with the truth of natural law, so that we may never be out of sync with its rhythm.
What can the light do for these fractured parts of ourselves — those with such pride, self-will, and defense, that truly believe they are acting in favour of the whole Self, even through tunnel vision with their backs toward the light? How might they come to rest in the consistency and safety of the light, and in the same properties of the sun itself?
The Sun
The sun is self-sustaining, life-giving, consistent, and always present — even as the earth turns away into the illusion of night. It is magnetising, warm, and brilliant. And yet it never asks us to recognise these transcendent qualities. It does not need our recognition to sustain them. It simply is. Through all the beauty, love, death, war, suffering, and union experienced on the pale blue dot — the sun remains. It simply is.
The sun does not mind whether you recognise it or not. But in truly recognising its qualities — and therefore experiencing them within yourself — it is a great service to Self and others. The light is then multiplied.
So that you may edge your way in and out of likeness to the sun. And if someone were to catch you in your image of the sun, may they either recognise these qualities within themselves — or illuminate all the walls within which the light reflects.
May your light be steady enough to withstand each response, for they are one and the same. Each is perfect, and always moving in illumination toward unity — through the illusion of death.
I wish you the courage to shine the light of life on your whole Self. So that you may see yourself in your entirety, and love all that you are. And in doing so, love all that is.
